Understanding Intrusive Thoughts: What They Are and How to Manage Them

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, distressing thoughts that occur out of the blue. In my practice as a psychologist in Wellington, I encounter these all the time. It seems everyone has intrusive thoughts—even me! I often have distressing visions of my baby daughter getting hurt, to the degree it is currently a daily occurrence. Intrusive thoughts target our most sensitive vulnerabilities, showing us precisely what we fear most, which can make them extremely upsetting.

Why Do We Have Intrusive Thoughts?

Your mind and body, or "mindbody" as I call it, are fundamentally geared towards your survival and growth. This isn't a conscious process; it happens simply because we are alive. So, why does the mindbody conjure horrific images that we desperately want to avoid? It's a strategy to prevent these things from happening. Safety is paramount for the mindbody as it increases our chances of staying alive and growing. To ensure that potential threats are addressed, the mindbody tests them out by throwing the thought into our conscious mind to see how it feels. For example:

• An affectionate parent has thoughts of harming their child.

• A heterosexual person who grew up in a family with bigoted homophobic values may have thoughts of same-sex attraction.

• A person strongly attached to their religion has thoughts of doing extremely ‘sinful’ acts

The key feature of intrusive thoughts is that they are "ego-dystonic," meaning they are inconsistent with our actual feelings. This is why they are closely linked to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), where individuals perform rituals to soothe anxiety caused by by thoughts similar to these. You may also notice how the intrusive thoughts are totally subjective, often rooted in values that a person is very attached to or influenced by childhood conditioning.

Why Do Some People Get Intrusive Thoughts More Than Others?

Those who view these thoughts as the biggest threats tend to experience them more. This is because the mindbody reacts based on how things feel in your body. If a thought feels threatening, the mindbody categorizes it as important and focuses on it to protect you.

How to Defuse Intrusive Thoughts

To manage intrusive thoughts, we need to detach from their content and understand their function. Recognize that the mindbody gives you these thoughts because it wants to protect you. The more you fear something, the more likely you'll have intrusive thoughts about it. Acknowledge and appreciate that your mindbody is trying to help. Understand that having a thought doesn't mean it will come true—it's just a thought.

Thoughts are one way the subconscious communicates with the conscious mind. Paradoxically, the more we appreciate this protective mechanism, the less distressing the thoughts become and the less frequently they occur. While intrusive thoughts won't disappear forever, they will occur less often and have a reduced impact on you.

Seeking Help for 'Intrusive' Thoughts

If you're struggling with intrusive thoughts and need support, I have extensive experience working with these issues and can help you on your journey. Feel free to get in touch with my private psychology practice in Wellington, or contact me from anywhere in New Zealand.